would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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