watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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