Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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