Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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