Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
