Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
they're like a gay fantastic four
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
