If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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