There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
