I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
