Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
