Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
