his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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