Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
