my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
