I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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