My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
