I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
