Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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