Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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