one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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