Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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