what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
