i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
