I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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