Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
