Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
