So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
