someone get that fucking seahorse.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
