Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My cat gives me a boner
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
