i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
