I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
