found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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