Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
