I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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