dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
