There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
