You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
