I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
