i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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