At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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