My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
