so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
