Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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