I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
