So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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