She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
