haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
