Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
