But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
