Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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